My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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