In the future we'll all be gay
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
