Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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