In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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