38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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