Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I want a musical about memes.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
