i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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