I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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