If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
