went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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