All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize