Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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