you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Green mimosas i think yes
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
