know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
