I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
and you fell through a lawn chair
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
