Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
