apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
