I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
