i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I don't think brook has ever known best
Do vagina's smell?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
