Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
