Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
