I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
