WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
