the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
