Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
