she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize