just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
