Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
