I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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