there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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