I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
