You just made me feel so damn special
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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