Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
