just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
