So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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