i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
