She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
