Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This toilet bowl is my home.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
