I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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