my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
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where does the pee come out of this thing
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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