Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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