Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
