Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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