Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
