Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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