I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
