...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
