omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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