So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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