IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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