my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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