i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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