I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Green mimosas i think yes
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
