xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
