i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
