You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
