It's just like the Real World with babies
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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