omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
