I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
