If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
