you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You dont lie about slip and slides
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
